Thursday, December 4, 2008

Haven't posted in a while..........

Imagine if you will years spent alone, not necessarily by myself but feeling like a glove on a shelf without its match, not much use.

One day I chance to find a cd, and from the first song I am struck - pow! - and every surrounding sound fades away. I know the songs, I could have written them. I don't know the words, but this is the music that's been playing in my head my entire life. Mysterious.. how can a stranger sing a song that grabs my soul and shakes it and says, "Hey YOU! Wake up! I want to dance..." and all of a sudden: Inspiration. The future has become a positive, instead of the long dull fall through eternity (end quote). Tragedy is tramping his tawny bones sullenly out the back door while Comedy is bounding up the front steps for a bear hug. The awe-some sound continues, through the second song and the third. Two minutes into the fourth, the song that makes me move my feet and drum on my thighs whether I like it or not, two minutes in, two unbelievable and exhilarating minutes in, the music has become so intense I could die, and then the CD skips... in my excitement I kicked the table and now gasp in horror at the spoiled perfection of a quarter of a second of sound trapped in a loop, "Ra..Ra..Ra..Ra..Ra..Ra...."

What do I do now? I couldn't restart it where it left off, wouldn't make any sense.. I tried starting the song over, but I couldn't stop anticipating what I had already heard. How do I recapture the novelty of a First Kiss? I have to listen to the CD all over again, and not right away either, first I had to forget. For hundreds of days, I've forgotten, and I've remembered. Each day I've forgotten more of the words, the rhythms, the notes, but I've remembered the way I danced to it. So now I'm left with something that couldn't even be called a memory, more like an imprint, the soundtrack to my life, I've got a song stuck in my head that I don't know the words to. I think it's time to listen to it again..

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