I Am

I am and have become what people have wanted me to be. More attuned to RL, away from those "Games". And where has it left me.

I miss people. People I have come to care about. People that have made me laugh. Cry even. I dont care who you are some of those "games" have held meaning to me. Have held a hella of a lot more but we wont go there shall we.

I sat outside today. My new surroundings can afford me that. Without the judgement of my crazy assed former neigbors i can sit there. I sit and wonder at the trees. What can they tell me that others have not. Where am I right now that I have embraced and allowed myself to make others happy.

Am I happy? I know they are. I am not the same person anymore. Glued to a computer. Bound by some virtual laws that say, you must be there at 7pm sharp! You must do this and that and the other thing.

I know I'm not happy .......... I am doing the one thing i vowed i didnt want to do. Become what I am not to make someone happy.

I'll go back to it soon I know. Cause there are people that care about me and I about them. It is my only connection to them..... for now....... I'll wait.... they'll be there I know.

I used to know that everyone needs somewhere to go where they can be who they wanna be instead of who they are.

Am I becoming who I dont wanna be, to make others happy, instead of who makes me happy?

food for thought........ food for thought........